The very bad, terrible day...and why I love my Mom

So I had a bad day yesterday.

No, that's actually an understatement. I had an AWFUL day yesterday.

It all started in the wee morning hours with the painful realization that I am NOT going to Colorado in the Fall with my friends. No miracle is going to happen, no money fairy is going to pitch on my shoulder and hand me a thousand dollars, there will be no trip for me. And the only reason was because I was too scared to book my ticket on points when I had the chance. I am not going to CO because I am a stupid scared child...and I was so depressed about it...

So at noon Jacob wants to go swimming. Awesome. We pack up and head to the park with Tammy and Ben and Aunt Cor. All is well until it is time to leave and Jacob wants to get a shower...but the showers are not on and so I have to turn them on for him. Well this was NOT FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And hysterics ensued. Complete with a number of "You are ruining my life!! I hate you!! You are the worst Mommy ever!!!" Overreaction much?? Oh you have no idea. So off he runs. Oh yes, he decided that he was going to run away....because the SHOWER WAS NOT ON *insert picture of me banging my head against the wall here*

And you know...I let him run. Aunt Cor was horrified but I let him go on over that hill and just disappear from my sight and in that moment I simply did not care anymore. I knew where he was, I knew he wouldn't go too far...so after a fine time I went searching for him. Found him sitting under a tree wailing about how he had a horrible life and why do these things always happen to him?? Aunt Cor called Mom to pick us up and I dragged that child out body and bones and threw him in the car and we went home. More screaming, more hysterics, more overreaction...

And then the car had to go in for servicing. No problem. Bring her in and leave her there.
At 3:00 p.m. the mechanic called to tell me that my car needed new brakes. FOUR new brakes - at a cost of ohhh a mere $600.00. *insert picture of me fainting dead away here* So I clenched my teeth and told him to do the front ones and leave the back ones for now.

At 4:00 I started to cry. No, I started to sob and I just couldn't stop. I sat here at this computer and I just cried and cried and cried. Jennifer found me and I just started to babble on and on about Jacob and the car and the trip and money and just on and on and on...poor girl...between her and James they didn't quite know what to do for me.

So Jennifer hugged me, Jacob apologized and James bought me wine. And I calmed down.

Which brings me to today - this evening when my mom came down and sent me and James to the store and she took Jacob so we could go alone. And when we got back Jacob was happy, the dishes were done, the floors were scrubbed, the laundry was on, the carpets were vacuumed and the sheets were changed on the children's beds. I just stared at Mom and she just shrugged and said "Well you had such a bad day yesterday..."

I love my Mom. My Mom makes everything better.

Scrapbooking Message Boards and Me

I'm re-thinking my involvement on scrapbooking message boards. I have been on a few over the past five or so years and really I don't keep up well, don't comment on layouts in the galleries well and just mostly feel like an outsider looking in.

And you know, I feel pressure on those things. Pressure to scrap, pressure to create, pressure to have the newest products, the best pictures, the coolest pages. And really, that's not why I scrapbook. It just isn't. I love showing off my pages but I think I am seriously over the MB thing. I mean, let's be honest here - I rarely do a page without scraplifting or using a sketch. RARELY. I don't actually have a creative bone in my body and I have no eye for color whatsoever...so I scraplift or use sketches or other inspiration and I am cool with that. But MB's expect more than that and I just don't have the time to give it.

I need to simplify. To quote Dr. Miranda Bailey - I need to look for the bigger picture.

So I have decided to drop my scrapping MB's. I will peep in every now and again to see what is going on and to check out the galleries but realistically, I'm out.

I have this friend. A very good friend named Wendy Sommers and she is on the design team for two scrapping blogs So Sketchy and Scrap Schemes

Those two sites are my new inspiration sites. I need simple, I need straightforward, I need inspiration and creativity and all of that other good stuff without feeling the pressure to be immersed and involved and posting comments and all of the other things MB's demand. I've been thinking long and hard about this because I have been a MB junkie for many years now. But I need this, and now that the decision has been made - I feel....free.

So Ally and Shauna have a new recruit. Let the scrapping begin!!

So I am on vacation!

Yay right?

Well no not so much. I suppose it's ok and all. Today was my first day off. Jacob woke me at 7:30 and we went downstairs so he could play. I poked around on the computer a bit and then looked around and thought - yeah. No.

So I cleaned. I did the laundry, hung two loads out on the line, packed and unpacked the dishwasher - TWICE. Fed the children, changed the sheets, washed the sheets and hung THEM on the line. Cleaned Will and Jacob's rooms, walked up to Mom's with Jacob, left Jacob with Tammy and Ben, came home and washed Jennifer's clothes AND prepared supper...called Tammy twice to make sure Jacob was ok. Went back up to Mom's to visit with Sheryl and Hallie who had come out for a while. Came back home, fed all three children, had my own supper, cleaned up and got mad with James for being late - again.

It is now...ohhhh...11:00 p.m and I have started a scrapbooking layout, gone to the bookstore and bought four books, gotten Jacob to sleep, and am now devouring my second glass of wine while conmtemplating opening another bottle.

Did someone say "vacation"??

The things I need...

I need to print pictures.

I need to scrapbook.

I need coffee.

I need to talk to my husband.

I need Jacob's allergies to GO AWAY.

I need to get William out of the house.

I need Jennifer to come home from her trip safely.

I need to go see Hallie tonight.

I need to update my 365.

I need a night alone with James. Just the two of us.

I need a lot of things lately it seems. But you know, most of all...I need to get my happiness back. I need to stop fretting and worrying and wondering and being sad. I need to STOP being sad. I'm not depressed, I'm not forlorn or on the verge of a breakdown or anything like that. I am just....sad. Maybe melancholy is the right word...maybe it's the blues. Of course one would thinik that the blues would go away after a while, but no...it's sticking around. Which is weird for me. I am a generally happy, well adjusted (all things considered) person. But lately. I have the blues.

Maybe if I work on my scrapbooks this weekend...yeah...get all gluey and sticky and play with paper and color. Yeah. That makes me feel a bit better. We'll have to see.

Man it is hot!

Seriously.

It is hot.

It is too hot to work, too hot to sleep, too hot to really be outdoors...it is just too hot.

But I am not complaining!! No sirree I am not complaining. I spend enough time bitching about the cold, dreary winters....moaning about the hot summer would be a complete contradiction. Besides, if I complain outloud then the fates will hear me and deluge us with rain and misery. I'll take the heat thankyouverymuch.

I know I have not updated since the wedding. I have no excuse other than abject laziness. Buty no matter. The wedding was amazing. Amanda looked stunning, Corey was the picture of perfection, everyone had a SUPER good time...it was excellent I must say. So now that it is over we can all relax and enjoy the summer sun. God knows it won't be around for much longer. :)

Oh hey...some pictures of the big day!